Last week, Rebeca’s parents came to visit and left with over half of her belongings. Along with clothes, bedding, and books, we gave them our bright blue curtains, figuring we wouldn’t need them anymore. Ever since then, every time I walk into the room I’ve been assailed with unfocused and formless memories of other rooms I’ve lived in that, while still technically inhabited, were essentially empty shells.
So when I woke up this morning – or, if we’re being completely honest, at 1:30 p.m. – I had a perfect view from outside my window. It looks something like this:
Yeah, it’s apparently not as great through the closed window and pixely screen. But this is the view I’ve had every single day for the past two years. Well, not counting summers and Christmas and all those other times I’ve been away. Still, when I woke up today and climbed out of bed and saw it – and it’s beautiful today, all green and perfect – I was struck with the realization that this is the last day I’m going to wake up to this view.
Next year, I’ll be living in Aldersgate, and I actually can’t put into words how excited I am about that. But no matter how much I love the people I live with and how many great memories I make in that apartment, they’ll never replace these memories. I mean, this was my home for the first two years of my college existence.
Over the past two years, this room has been the hub of my life. I’ve watched Rebeca get flowers, had Julie, my RA from BFA, over for a few hours, skyped with Hannah Jo, my roommate from sophomore year, spent hours packing and unpacking at the beginning and end of every year, and been a little crazy after our first college dance party.
It’s been a great time – most of the time. It hasn’t been perfect, and there have been days when I’ve been so sick of these four walls I’ve wanted to start running and just never stop. All the same, it’s been my life. And though it might be sentimental of me, I can’t shake the feeling that things will never be the same after I pack up and move out next Friday.
They might be amazing, and I’m sure I’ll make some of the best memories of my life. I’m gonna live with some amazing girls, and be involved in some things that I am absolutely ecstatic about. Yet despite the fact that every time I remember freshman year, I wrinkle my nose and wonder how I could have been happy when all I did was sit in the room and do homework, I feel a little nostalgic today. No matter what happens, after I leave this room for the last time, things. will. be. different. My life as I know it will never be the same.
I’ll have to walk so much further to get to work! I’ll have to leave my room 5 minutes before class, rather than 3! I won’t have to walk up any steps to get to my room! I’ll be living with a bunch of seniors I didn’t even know existed before this year! I won’t even be near Rebeca for the whole first semester…
Sentimental and melodramatic as it might be, it’s the truth – my life will never be the same.