I always thought 20 would bring infinite sophistication. Well, “always” as in ever since my dreams of being 14, tall, gorgeous and a successful archaeologist fell through. Yeah, that was the original plan for my plan. I was gonna have long red hair in a perennial braid, somewhat like Mandie from the Lois Gladys Leppard books. For the many of you who are unfamiliar with these literary gems, you should remedy that immediately. Oh, but back on subject; I planned on being permanently clad in khaki shorts and vests, ankle-high hiking boots and a hat.
Once that didn’t happen, I transferred all my hopes for elegance on the year 20. So far, I’m convinced that I am to be yet again disappointed.
On Thursday, May 9, to celebrate both my impending break from teenagedom and the release of the movie adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s masterpiece The Great Gatsby,
my roommate and I went to the 10:30 p.m. release. We ended up at what can only be termed the absolute sketchiest and hardest to find Regal Cinema in the whole world.
As we pulled out of the catty corner parking lot, I backed into a lamp post. An hour and a half into the decade of my new sophistication, and I’m already running into things. Looks like things can only go up from here.
Actually, turns out that’s mostly false. I had an interview with Victoria’s Secret Friday at 1 p.m. The only thing worse than scheduling an interview and not showing up is showing up with a cold. I got to the store, fully intent on being calm, cool and collected, or at the very least, flustered yet witty. Instead, I wandered around the store like a lost puppy for several minutes before finally catching sight of a salesperson. I opened my mouth and rasped out “Hello, I’m here for an interview.”
Yeah, that’s right. I just about coughed a phlegm ball on a Victoria’s Secret employee, while in the process of asking them to give me a job.
Maybe 25 will be the magic year of perfection…
Although, to be honest, the new Kindle I got for my birthday might help spur that on. So much reading, so much fun!