One final hurrah

I have one more semester left as an undergraduate. One. Just one.

So that’s weird. In a few more months, this will be me once again:

Add a few bangs, take away the nose cast, and there it is.
Add a few bangs, take away the nose cast, and there it is.

And after that? The dream plan involves a summer internship, grad school at one of my dream schools in New York City or Chicago (technically Evanston, but let’s call it Chicago just for fun) and then a job.

At this exact moment in time, though, I have no idea what’s going to happen. It is possible I won’t get an internship. It’s possible I won’t get into grad school. I’m planning on sending my novel to agents–maybe one of them will like it and we’ll sign a contract. By this time next year, I could be an almost-published author. Or maybe once I send my poems and short stories out, someone will accept them.

The point is, anything could happen. The world could shift on its axis and all of my plans could flip flop. For the first time in my life, I’m standing at a true cliff, and I don’t know if a bridge will magically appear to the other side, or if I’ll have to fling myself into the air and hope for the best. As scared as I am by that prospect, I’m also totally excited. I don’t know what is going to happen in the future.

All I know right now is that I’m taking exams next week, going to Italy next Friday, and finishing college in May 2015. These are the certainties–well, as certain as anything can get in this world. I’m very excited, though, that I don’t have any definite plans right now.

Don’t get me wrong: if some plans came my way, I would snatch them out of the air so fast I can’t even think of an apt metaphor for them. In the meantime, I’m choosing to embrace the lack of plans. I’m choosing to live one day at a time. I choose to apply for internships and grad schools. I choose to work on my novels and attempt to get them published, as well as my poems and short stories. I choose to believe that whatever comes is going to be brilliant. And I choose to enjoy this final semester of college.

No matter where I am, I know nothing will be anything like the four years I’ll have spent at Asbury. Some experiences will be better; some will be worse; none will be the same. I’m going to embrace every second of this crazy ride and love my friends as wildly as I can. I’m going to live in the moment and, when graduation comes, I’m going to step into the unknown with a smile.

It’s going to be great. My words to the future are: “I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I’ll write your name.” (I also really love Taylor Swift. I felt like that should be mentioned).

Bring it on.

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