Yeah, I know I say it all the time:
I’m not perfect. I’m super messed up! If you’re messed up, I’m totally screwed over.
But something I’ve learned this week is that I don’t really believe that. On some level, the level where I hate myself, I do believe it. But that level is sinking farther from my conscience the more confident I become.
And as great as it is that I’m becoming more confident–it’s super great–there are, of course, problems that come with that just as they do with insecurity.
For one, all these signs I’ve received lately that seem to reaffirm journalism as my calling and writing as a skill I possess. I got into grad school, got an internship, got an award…got a big head…
Yeah, all those things had me walking around with my nose up in the air and the attitude that I just could do no wrong. I was SuperJournalist, saving the world one brilliant article at a time! And unlike Superman, I had no kryptonite. No, I wasn’t some lame alien whose own home planet can destroy him. I mean, how lame is that?
Sorry. Back on track. This week.
This week was detrimental to that image of myself, but beneficial to my soul.
It was Thursday. I remember it like it was yesterday (because it practically was). I had written an article I thought was rather lovely. And it wasn’t. It was choppy. It was incomplete. Worst of all, it didn’t make you feel anything.
Hearing that almost broke me. I’ve been here three weeks, I thought, I should be perfect by now. I should be the best. There should be nothing wrong with me.
It took some really honest talks with friends to pull me out of my despair. That, and the following realization.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I am not the best journalist in the world. I am not the best writer, storyteller, or people person.
But I can learn. I am surrounded by people who want to help me. I can, and I will, improve.
Because nobody is perfect. Not me, not you, but anyone. Perfection is something to strive for, always, but rarely if ever achieved.
That’s the humbling life lesson I learned this week. What did you learn?